Wedding.... 4 months to go...

I was just thinking, I only have 4 months until my wedding day, and how involved have I gotten in planning it?? Not very, too much going on. So, from here on out, I am going to start doing more planning! I just found an awesome blog, with so manythings I want to do. Including Trash the dress, which is just an awesome idea. But for now, let me post about all the things I have planned for the wedding so far, starting from the beginning...

Here is my engagment ring! Joseph and I were engaged on December 31st (ironically not at midnight), during a horse and buggy ride in Paris. And no, it can't get much better than that.

I already have my wedding dress, and I can't post pictures of me in it incase my fiance decides to read my blog... but here it is:

The bridesmaids are just going to be in black with a white sash. I'm putting the sash on myself, but I still haven't figured out how to get it to stay yet.

Then I want to have bright flowers for everyone. I met with the florist this weekend and it looks like everything will be between $700-$900. I will be meeting with her again. Next time I head up to PA, I need to get a picture of the church, inside and out .

Spring Break

It is true, I have been on spring break all this week, but it is sad when I get up earlier on spring break than I do during the school year. Spring break is supposed to be a time when you take a break from school stuff, recuperate so that surviving the last few weeks of school is bearable! Well, I have spent each and every day of my spring break waking up at 7 am, going to SAA, and sitting around until 3pm just to get in my hours for Practicum. I do feel like I have relaxed at all or that I am prepared for the next 7 weeks of school. Last week I broke down, and because I haven't really gone back to a state of "ok"-ness, I just might do it again, which is not what I want. I still have my Master's classes this week, which gives me homework and not much of a break. I have had no time at the apartment to clean and it is a mess! That makes me stressed out just as much. Oh I don't even want to think about all this because it stresses me just to think of it.

On the other hand, Joseph and I had our first pre-marital counseling session last night. It was good. Can you believe that we have the director of family ministries for the entire world church doing our pre-marital counseling??!! He is a little old-fashioned, but very nice, and he does try to keep up with the times. Joseph noticed that he was wearing a wedding ring and was happy about that, surprising I suppose for the way that our church is. We discussed in laws a little bit, which I suppose is a big issue in our relationship, seeing as how his father has only met me 2 times in our relationship, and only 3 times ever. One issue right now is what I am supposed to call him as my father-in-law. When I emailed him last, he told me not to call him Mr. Mahoney, but to call him "Mike," which is really weird for me because I was always brought up to be respectful. Plus, how can I call him by his first name when Joseph calls him "Dad"? So, Pastor Flowers told me that I should have the name conversation with his dad and call him whatever makes him comfortable, even if it makes me uncomfortable. So, that will be an email that I have to write at some point in time....preferably sooner rather than later.

When I told Joseph that I had started a blog, he asked me "What is it about?" I really didn't know that a blog had to be about anything in particular, just whatever I felt like talking about, which is most of the time just about me. I mean, sometimes I have random thoughts, but they don't seem significant enough to write about on a blog. Except for this one--- a while ago, I decided that since I was a vegetarian I should really stay away from gelatin because it is made from animal bones and that is really gross. But you would be surprised with how many things have gelatin in them! Starbursts for example....which is particularly sad because I remember being at the beach growing up and my grandmother would always bring starbursts for me to eat. They had a little sand in them every once in a while, but they were always superb.

Beginnings

I have needed a blog, so its about time that I have started one. I have had a Xanga for a long time, but I needed to get away from that, just because, I don't know, I felt like it was something from my past. Right now I am going through a rough and crazy time in life and I just need to write. I used to journal all the time and I loved it, but with time constraints, typing just seems so much faster.

So much is going on in my life right now and I briefly lost it last week, currently trying to prevent a relapse of that. I am getting married in 5 months, which is good, but it brings about a whole lot of stress of planning, financial strain, who is paying for what, who is not paying at all that should be paying, pleasing mothers and forgetting my own wishes. Lots of good stuff like that. At the same time, I am finishing my last semester of my undergrad, which requires a 120-hour practicum (also in progress), while I have just started my master's. I also work--not much, about 7 hours a week--but it is still work, and pre-marital counseling starts this week. People think I'm nuts, and I get the usual "oh you are smart, you'll be fine," which sounds great, but it is an empty comment. Those around me know how much I am doing, but I don't think they quite understand. I feel like I am already married because I cook, clean the apartment, make sure he has a lunch for work. Again, not a bad thing, just adds to everything else.

My wedding dress came in this weekend, but it went to the store up in Pennsylvania and I am in Maryland. I suppose that my mother will pick it up sometime this week and bring it to me when I see her this weekend. It would just be nice if I could be in control of all my wedding stuff. But again, that is difficult when the wedding is up in PA/NJ and I am down here, I have to rely on the family up there.

I have therapy today, thankfully, it has been almost two weeks since I went last and that is too long. Maybe that is why I lost it last week. I almost forgot, I am looking for a job as well, as terrible as that is in today's economy, and dependent upon where that job is if I get one, will tell me in what area I will be moving when my lease is up at the end of May. That involves finding a place to live where Joe can move in once we get married. But honestly, wouldn't it just be easier if he moved in now? I'd even get a two-bedroom so that we wouldn't sleep together to make the parents happy. Aren't I an adult yet? I still feel like I am living under the rules of others.